My personal psychiatrist.
I’ve been thinking about it and come to the conclusion that it is quite impossible. Well, it is impossible if we assume everyone’s a sensitive person who gives at least a crap about at least one person around them. That is a necessary condition, because everytime you’re happy, everytime damn time you do something right, everytime you get lucky..somebody else doesn’t.
I can’t go any further into the matter without revealing stuff I am not willing to reveal. But admit it, it happened to each and everyone of you. And it doesn’t really matter what side are you on, but when you’re the one affected by others’ happiness..that stings a little, don’t it?
I’m in that place right now. And it’s awkward. And strange. And infuriating, cause I know I should be realistic and down to Earth and not let this kind of things affect me. Cause it’s really not a big deal. It’s just a surface issue that is going to pass just as it came unless I make a fuss. And I’m afraind that’s precisely what I am going to do. And I’m going wild just trying to keep my composure. Cause ladies never lose it, right? Bullshit. We lose it, alright. We just don’t let others know we have.
I have all this teenager crisis going through. And all this time I lied to myself thinking I am way better than this. I’m too mature for that. And then it hit me: I’m not.
So.. Bottom line is people around me are happy. Or at least content with their work. And I’m in my little corner, bitting my nails and fantasizing about how this will work out for the best. And I can’t quite stop asking myself: will it?