Monthly Archives: Septembrie 2010

oac oac diri diri da

😀

Anunțuri

Puss in boots, varianta netrecuta prin PS

Unghiul nu e tocmai bun, dar vede cineva vreo asemanare intre poze?

Basescu cel onest si politistii fara de lege

Este ca suna a basm? Pai basm este. Baiul e ca in basmul asta is tare multi zmei si zgripturoaice fara numar, cantitatea de mere de aur e impozitata pana cand Praslea se inteapa degeaba in lancii, ca oricum nu mai are ce pazi, iar closca cu puii de aur e plecata in mother Russia.

Dar totul e frumos. In jurul nostru curg rauri de lapte si miere care inunda doar casute de turta dulce si rup doar poduri de zahar candel. Baiul ar fi ca Hansel si Gretel se joaca dea delegarea puterii, asa ca vrajitoarea cea rea o sa reuseasca intr’un final sa’i bage in cuptor. Dea Domnul cicloane cu case din Kansas care s’o faca piftie apoi, dar numai sa nu fie prea tarziu.

Intre timp, zmeul al mai zmeu dintre zmei, cu ghioaga de aur asa de stralucitoare ca la chelia lui te poti uita dar la ghioaga ba, zice ca e deasupra miseilor alora infami de incalca legea pe care ar trebui s’o apere. Si de’acuma o sa faca bai de multime numa’ intre cei mai onesti dintre onesti, adicatelea probabil intre ai sai zmei&co. Si daca nu’s onesti, le’arata ghioaga si coltii si astia se transforma din zmei in miei. Cu Fat’Frumos nu i’ar iesi figura mult repetata in fata oglinzii tinuta de Rumpelstiltskin*, asa ca nici nu se complica s’o incerce. Mai bine tine afacerea in sanul familiei zmeiesti. Asa isi pastreaza ghioaga, il bate pe Fat’Frumos la fundul gol si’i fura palosul, caci toata lumea stie ca indiferenta doare cel mai tare, si se leapada si de diverse insarcinari absolut rusinoase pentru un zmeu.

Basmu’i astfel complet. 🙂

*daca nu stiti cine’i asta, uitati’va la ultimul Shrek.

Blondie undercover 1/2

Fost’am ieri la Tulcea sa curatam tara de gunoaie.. alaturi de cateva zeci de copii carora li s’a promis probabil cate un 10 la muzica sau sport si alte cateva zeci de nene si tanti de la Jandarmerie, Politie si DPIR, carora nu stiu ce li s’a promis (Base nu’i mai vrea langa el, asa ca 25 de procente inapoi sigur nu).

Ca sa ajung la ecologizare, trebuia sa ajung la Tulcea. Ca sa ajung la Tulcea, am luat masina din garaj. Incredibil, dar dupa 2 ani de posesie a minunatei bucati de carton plastifiat pe care scrie “permis de conducere”, am reusit sa plec singura pe european pana’n marea si infricosatoarea metropola de pe malul apei.

Cum nu mai era tata pe scaunul din dreapta care sa alterneze “Franaaaa!!!!” si “Calc’o.” (a se observa diferenta de punctuatie) am invatat cum se merge si cu a cincea dupa un scurt amestec in ciorba de viteze proaspat culese. Si cum pluteam eu pe’un norisor care torcea mai ceva ca motanul meu gadilat sub barbie, iaca si tirul incarcat cu piatra in fata mea, in mijlocul Dealului Somovei. Retezam avant, bagam a doua si urcam taras’grapis din urma lui cu 10 km/h. In alti doi ani promit sa invat sa si depasesc in curbe. 🙂

Ajung la Tulcea. Vai, dar cum sa merg eu pe jos din Vest pana la Bididia? Ntz ntz ntz. Iau masina, merg lejer pe varianta, ma falesc catre mine ca n’am scapat masina la vale la pornirea in rampa de la semafor, gasesc unde sa parchez, opresc, ma dau jos si pornesc a ecologiza cu drag si spor.

Peste 2-3 ore..sa pornesc catre oras. Da. Eu pornesc, masina ba. Bateria plecase pa’pa, cu viteza luminii din farurile mele ramase aprinse. Flacau’ lu’ tata, prins la usa, gaseste mirobolanta solutie de’al suna pe taica’su pentru indrumare. 3 apeluri pierdute in eter. M’a sunat inapoi peste alte 3 ore. Toata baza, deci..

Tot strigand la nevoie pe Elizeului, imi vede ochiul una bucata service parasit in proportie de 80%. In restul de 20 era un nene la vreo 50 de ani care dadea cu ciocanul intr’o Daciuta.

– Nu va suparati, ma ajutati si pe mine cu ceva.. Am uitat farurile aprinse vreo 2 ore si acum mi’a ramas masina fara baterie.. Clip’clip

– Ce masina don’soara?

– Super Nova. Stiti, e chiar aici, la colt. Si nu stiu ce sa’i fac.. Damsel in distress. A stupid one, but still a damsel in distress. Pentru prima data realizez ca daca esti ametit de felul tau, e bine sa fii fata. O privire nevinovata si’o fastaceala mica te scoate din orice. 🙂

– Pai trebuie impinsa.

Ce ma? That’s how the magic works?

Ei, a venit nenea binevoitor, a mai chemat vreo doi sa impinga, am pus si eu umarul si a porniiiiiiit 😀 Multumiri peste multumiri, bla’bla’uri, alea alea..mergea masina. Phew! A trebuit apoi sa ma fatai putin prin oras, consumand a certain amount of gasoline, dar cu sufletul impacat, tahicardie tratata si tensiune revenita la normal.

Restul zilei e fad, in comparatie cu treaba asta. A, bine, am strans vreo 3 tone de gunoaie din padurea de la Bididia. Dar pentru blonda din mine, astea’s futilitati. Farurile si vopseaua de par is baza. Acum stiu de ce vroiam sa fiu blonda in copilarie. Era o refulare a adevaratei mele personalitati. 😛

Blondie undercover

Pe 25 septembrie n’am scris pe blog. Si nu din vreun exces de zel in ceea ce priveste Let’s do it, Romania!, ci pentru ca’s blonda. Nu s’ar zice, dar am si eu suvitele mele mai decolorate. Suvite care itesc capul la lumina cand si cand.

N’am scris, deci, pentru ca n’am avut net. Nu, Romtelecomul a fost baiat de treaba si de data asta n’a fost din vina lui. Beculetul de la modem a pus repede diagnosticul: variatii de tensiune pe retea. Pai bine, variatii sa fie, dar sa le stim si noi. Insa, nesimtitoare, variatiile se faceau cunoscute doar modemului, ale carui beculete clipoceau verde/rosu mai ceva ca pomul de Craciun.

Acum, sa zicem c’or fi variatii. Sudeaza vreunul pe strada, bate vantul si misca cablul, da unul ritmic cu un baros in stalp..dar 3 zile? Fireste c’am dat restarturi si’am scos prelungitorul din priza pana mi’a venit acru. Zadarnic. Totul parea pierdut. Pana cand am zis ca nu ma face pe mine, falnica electronista, un modem. Asa ca l’am scos din prelungitor, cu gand sa actionez direct la sursa. Minune! Dupa 3 zile de matanii, rugaciuni si sambete purtate, s’a coborat stabilitatea retelei electrice asupra mea cu a sa binecuvantata conexiune la internet. Nici eu n’as fi zis ca’s asa de blonda. Da’ ete ca se mai intampla si din astea..

I am a voyeur.

„You like me to stare?
I like your underwear.
I’ve come to stare,
I am a voyeur.”

Fraza zilei. De azi.

Bine, e mai multe fraze, da’ pricepeti voi unde bat. 🙂

Lady Loveless: ok..
Lady Loveless: nu e frumoasa
Lady Loveless: poate e desteapta.. si o avea suflet bun
Lady Loveless: da pana mea
Lady Loveless: nu pare a fi ea tocmai genu de margaret thatcher undercover
Lady Loveless: sau regina angliei

Boring boredom.

I’ve tried reading, but it didn’t work out that well. I’ve tried watching Shrek and failed miserably. I’ve tried writing some articles for sites whose purposes of existence only a twisted person like me would understand. Epic failure. So I’ve decided to abandon all hope, took a shower and watched some stuff on YouTube.

Laziness just hit me after an entire day of doing..stuff. So I’m in my comfy pyjamas (weird pyjamas, I don’t like them, but they’re comfortable and the pink ones need to be washed; the only available pair of pyjamas for this kind of weather), wearing some puffy socks with stripes and cows that look like funny donkeys that mated with crazy rabbits (but I’m positive about the fact that they’re cows) and write down things that no one gives a damn about.

I’m cold. I want my summer back. I miss whining about the terrible heat. I need thicker pyjamas. And a vblog. Having to express myself in writing narrows my spirituality (assuming I’m spiritual). Also, when speaking, spelling and grammar aren’t so important cause verba volant. But unless someone offers me a camera (I don’t wanna use the web, it’s not professional) and teaches me how to edit movies..I’ll resume to just wanting a vblog.

I’ve changed the resolution of my monitor today to (they say) the optimum one. And by they I mean some people that wrote reviews for the type of Benq I own. 1280×1024. That’s one weird resolution, trust me.

I’ve noticed this weird inclination I have of being cheesy when I’m merely bored. I consider it being one of the aspects of turning into a girl. I’ll have to abolish it. Otherwise.. I really don’t want to think about the outcome.

I’ve did my share of gossip for today, I’ve yawned of boredom, I didn’t do anything from that huge list of to’do things I had planned for today.. In fact, I think I am so bored that I’m gonna hit the bed and watch the ceiling for an hour or two. Just because I can.

And, as a gift and a reward for having the patience of reading that tremendous list of stupidities I wrote above, here’s a couple of songs to relax you. Enjoy! 🙂

PS: If you skipped the reading, you’re not allowed to press play. Should you disregard this, I will take your soul and burn it. Zen. 🙂

Thank you, Chesed, for the heads up on this lovely song.

Erase that cowboy hat (but not necessarily) and Brad Paisley is a hotie.

„Flash forward and we’re taking on the world together..” I’m turning into a girl.. *sigh*

The video is kind of twisted. The song is..beyond words.

..a thousand kisses deep

I smile when I’m angry

I cheat and I lie

I do what I have to do

To get by..

‘Cause Cohen is the only one to keep me warm tonight. And I’m close to that barrel..

NoName

If anyone tells you college won’t change you, don’t you believe them. They’re just screwing with you.

Take me for example. Before college I was “Hell no, my organism won’t see caffeine more than twice a year. And I’ll sleep as much as I want, just because I can. And yeah, maybe I’ll let you live with that stupidity you just said.”.

Then, some beautiful things appeared into my life. We call them exams. And then I was “Hell with it, give me my coffee.”. It wasn’t an everyday habit, but still. From two or three times a year, I got to two or three times a week.

And that’s only on the outside. “What could possibly happen inside you?”, you might ask. Well, do you have a bitch’ometer? Mine broke last week. I guess the fluid inside just couldn’t handle the pressure anymore..

And now it’s exams time again. And I’m all upside’down. Again. This time, I’ve turned bio. Like how fucked up is that? Now, instead of my occasionally coffee I have my everyday black tea. And green tea every evening. I try and exercise as often as I can (that is as often as I’m in the mood for it). I did a thorough schedule, wrote it down and duct taped it to my closet so I won’t forget what I have to do. I’m sleeping 7-8 hours per night, cause I’ve read somewhere that’s the amount of time you need to rest in order to have a healthty, boring long life. Next thing you’ll see me doing some yoga workout, inspired by some tutorial from YouTube. Wait, I already did that yesterday..

Now that’s not entirely awful or hideously wrong. But it’s a (really) major change in a (really) short period of time. And I blame college. Not adolescence, not turning 20 next week (I’m just being subtile here), not growing’up..just college. Cause believe it or not, everything started a year ago.

So, how were you changed by college? Or highschool if you’re younger? Or your job if you’re older?..